Flashback Of Feelings

Remember when you were little and just starting to make “best friends?” You would spend your time passing notes in class, hanging out on the swings at the playground, telling each other pointless secrets about how Billy stole Suzy’s pencil….etc. This was a wonderful age, where making friends was easy! Now that I’ve got your memory sparked, can you remember the first time you had a sleepover at your friends house? Remember the fear of the unknown? Of not knowing what their house would look like, if their moms mac-n-cheese really was as good as your friend said, how comfortable the bed would be, if it would be dark? So many things. Now remember how much fun you ended up having!! You ran around the house causing chaos everywhere you stepped, laughing uncontrollably and getting told to “quiet down!”  But do you remember bedtime? It was the time everyone dreaded. It meant the end of the fun and the beginning of the panic process. Where we didn’t want to leave because we were having so much fun but didn’t want to stay because we wanted our bed, parents, siblings, comfort…..I am at this stage. I’m on my plane to Haiti and I’m excited, yet wanting to go back home. The fear of the unknown awaits. I’ve been here before, I know what is waiting for me in Haiti. Yet there is that ache to go home. To cuddle with my siblings, laugh with my parents, hang out with my friends and just be surrounded by people who love me. This past month has honestly been horrible for me. The stress has been constantly on my mind, the anxiousness never ceases, my stomach is constantly in a knot and I must force myself to eat, the tears have been shed so much that I have none left to cry. But I know who holds my future, I know God is watching over me and has great plans for me. So just as I did when I was a little girl, I will wait through the night and wake again in the morning to enjoy another playdate with God on this mission field! Thank you all for the love and support! Please keep me in your prayers since this has been a very exciting yet difficult step to take. God Bless!