Watch Your Mouth!

      If I'm being completely honest, this topic has been heavy on my heart the past week or so. I've been a little nervous on how to write this without coming across condemning. So, I'm trusting God will use this to speak encouragement to my fellow believers in Christ, with loving correction to some and a good reminder to others! Here we go!

Exodus 20:7 English Standard Version (ESV)7 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.

      I want to dig deeper into this verse and what it means for us as Christians, because in this day and age God's name is thrown around as if it were just an ordinary word we would use daily. (And not in a  good way.) We are called to use His name in such a different way than how we have conformed to using it lately. It saddens me that this topic is not discussed as much in church these days and how culturally normal it has become to use His name in such an awful way, not only amongst nonbelievers but amongst our own brothers and sisters as well.

      So, what does it mean to take the Lord's name in vain? I read an amazing blog about this (you can find it here) which I learned a lot from and will be using a lot of the information I learned to help me write this blog. So, let's look at some of the ways you can violate the Third Commandment according to other verses found in His Holy Word!

1) Blasphemy, or cursing God's name.

Leviticus 24:16 English Standard Version (ESV)16 Whoever blasphemes the name of the Lord shall surely be put to death. All the congregation shall stone him. The sojourner as well as the native, when he blasphemes the Name, shall be put to death.

According to Webster's Dictionary, blasphemy is defined as "the act of insulting or showing contempt or lack of reverence for God." Blasphemy can be shown in many different ways, such as saying God is unjust or cruel, burning The Bible..etc. There are many examples given that happen all around the world daily, but this is not one I see as much personally. It's very important none the less, that we are careful what we say about God, that everything we claim about Him is backed up in His word.

2) False visions and false claims to speak on God's behalf.

Jeremiah 23:25-28 English Standard Version (ESV)25 I have heard what the prophets have said who prophesy lies in my name, saying, ‘I have dreamed, I have dreamed!’ 26 How long shall there be lies in the heart of the prophets who prophesy lies, and who prophesy the deceit of their own heart, 27 who think to make my people forget my name by their dreams that they tell one another, even as their fathers forgot my name for Baal? 28 Let the prophet who has a dream tell the dream, but let him who has my word speak my word faithfully. What has straw in common with wheat? declares the Lord.

When I read this I think of people who have come and gone, saying they are true prophets yet their "visions or dreams" have not come to fruition. I have actually had personal experience with this one and within the last year or so been more aware of it happening in churches all over the world. So, not only should we be careful what we're claiming, but we should be even more aware of what's being spoken to us in this manner. I know a few good Christians who claim to be prophets who actually aren't and I have learned to guard my heart and test peoples words with His word, before I believe what they are saying.


      There are a few other examples given on the other blog, and I encourage you to look into them, but I am going to stop at 3 (which I will continue after making this side note.) I believe this third one is the real reason I have written this blog, it is the MOST COMMON way God's name is used wrongly. I deal with it daily, people say it, type it, meme it, any way they can use it they do. And so, I leave you with the third way you can use God's name incorrectly. As a fellow sister in Christ, I encourage other believers to be cautious of this, because unfortunately it is very common in the church. It makes me sad to say that, but I hear it as much among believers as I do among nonbelievers. Let us read this next one and truly check our hearts and our words daily so as to shine Him in a good light, and not in a light that is unholy.

3) Using His name as a swear word.

Leviticus 19:12 English Standard Version (ESV)12 You shall not swear by my name falsely, and so profane the name of your God: I am the Lord.

      I cannot express enough how much this hurts my heart. There are so many different uses of this one (i.e. Oh My G*d! OMG! Oh My L**d! Jesus Ch***t! Oh, G*d. L*rd!) I have heard it come from the mouths of babes, from sweet church ladies and from men during football season. Christians and nonbelievers alike toss this word around frequently. I was talking with my mom about it, and although cursing isn't something we enjoy hearing, I would rather hear a thousand curse words then hear someone use His name in this way. IT IS SO IMPORTANT that we DO NOT conform to this cultural way of using His holy and precious name. We are commanded as His people to not profane His name, and this is included. We are called to be set apart and yet this topic is not discussed in cultural christian churches because everyone says this phrase daily. We need to be aware of why we are saying it, is it in prayer or in exasperation? One of those reasons is very wrong, and we need to be careful not to cross that line.


      So please, watch your mouth! And let us watch out for one another as we speak. Let us use His name in holiness, in prayer, in praise, and lets hold each other accountable to how we speak His name in our day to day lives. His name is above ALL names, do not poison it with the conforming pattern of this world and it's ways. Set your eyes on Him and use His name with love and peace. Amen!


   

Waves of Love

    Something is on my mind tonight as I sit outside on our hotel balcony and listen to the distant waves crashing on the nearby beach. Love. I know in 2015 I did a blog about love (You can find that here if you're interested!) But I feel as life continues on, this topic is needed to be shared more and more. His word says this... "Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
    Lately I have felt smothered by the hate I see everywhere. Whether it be walking around hearing people talk or seeing someone post something. Hate is well known, and well used by all. Hate for the outcast, hate for celebrities, hate for the rich and hate for the poor, hate for our neighbors and dare I even bring into the blog...hate for our president. We ridicule openly on social media, we gossip to our friends, we write blogs and articles and books, make videos and start rallies. And I say "we" because I'm just as guilty, no one goes unchecked.
    But God...(this has recently been my new favorite saying!) But God, He is the true example of the opposite of hate. He teaches love and grace. To welcome the outcast and pray for the celebrity, befriend the rich and give to the poor, to open our door to our neighbors and pray for guidance for our president. There are three things guaranteed to last forever, faith, hope and love. But the absolute greatest? LOVE.

    So, I challenge you to change. Change your mindset towards others, even if you disagree with them. Change what you post on social media, because trust me, we all need more uplifting posts these days. Change your prayer life! I cannot stress this one enough, let me tell you what, your life will change when you start praying for the ones you don't even want to say the names of! I write this not only to share with you, but also to write this on my heart as I type it out. In a year where hate is running rampant, dare to be a rebel and share His love instead. Watch how our world changes, with just you changing how you think towards others. Waves of love crashing on the beach, breaking down the hate one tide at a time! For without love, and without His love, we would not last forever.

"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7

All The Nations

It's been a little over 3 years since I have written anything on this blog. To be specific, my last mission update was 8/21/16! My mom and I had a discussion today about the mission field and what it looks like for me right now. There was a time in life where I was called to third world countries; Africa, Haiti and almost Lebanon and Syria (I signed up to go with my church in 2018 but due to a family sickness was unable to go.) Now, I feel as if my mission field is right here, right now. After all, Jesus said.... 

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20 NIV) 

...and to me that includes this nation. He doesn't limit where He is with you, He will not be with you just in church, or just on a mission field in Zimbabwe or any other third world place for that matter. No, our God says He is with us ALWAYS!

So, what is my mission field looking like these days? As most of you know my family owns a boat called "La Cigale" that we travel around the states on. This year we decided to keep our boat down in The Keys as we returned to Ohio for the summer. Before I left I felt strongly called to begin to participate in some of the different ministries going on at a church called Big Coppitt First Baptist Church. We love it with all of our hearts and have found such a great family of faith there. I began singing in the worship band and also working at an after school program with elementary schoolers who have become dear to my heart. So, when we return this fall, that will become my mission field once more! I'm beyond excited to return and spend my winter worshipping Him with some amazingly talented and humble people, as well as reach out to children in public schools who desperately need Jesus at this impressionable time of life. It is a bonus that I'm able to enjoy this ministry alongside my family, as we work to befriend those around the marinas and beyond to build relationships and shine His light to everyone. God has truly blessed us with the life we live, and we try our best to give Him all the glory for it! We will be leaving Ohio on October 11th and begin driving down to Marathon, Florida where our boat is docked. Along the way we will be stopping at quite a few different places so we will not reach the boat until November, but we are very anxious to return to our home and the amazing friendships we already have there! I hope to give more updates via facebook, and post more blogs on this site so that you can truly see what God is doing down in The Keys! Thank you all for your constant prayers and support, it really does take a village! I encourage you, if you're not feeling called to a third world country, do not be discouraged! We are all missionaries, and this entire world is our mission field. There are neighbors just around the corner who may not know Him. God can use you here in the U.S. too! So, listen to His calling on your life and know that whether it's Africa or America you are called to make disciples of ALL THE NATIONS for His glory!

Big News! (A quick update on what's going on in my life!)

If you haven't noticed, I really haven't been posting many updates or blogs on this page. I apologize to my followers, but there hasn't been much to write about. So, I've decided to catch some of you up on what is happening in my life instead. Here goes!

If you haven't heard already, I have left Children's Lifeline and returned to the states. I came home around March and have been missing Haiti on and off ever since. (I applied for another internship at another mission but the position was filled.) Since being home I've really committed my time to hanging out with friends and enjoying my family. I started a new blog, one that I post very random things on. It's called A Smackeral Of Life. If you don't get that reference I advise you to go watch some Winnie The Pooh! Life has been pretty relaxing....but wait....there's more.

I'm on a boat trip! My family left on August 15th from Sandusky Harbor Marina and have been living on our 32 foot Bayliner since that day. We are traveling The Great American Loop. For those of you wondering it looks like this...


I know, it's super huge, but I wanted to make sure you could actually see it! We will be gone a total of 10 months, and so far it has been amazing! I love traveling so much and adventuring the different places has been awesome for me! Not to mention all of the photo opportunities! I'm also in charge of a blog for our trip. So as you can see, I'm very busy adventuring and writing for my two other blogs! I will most likely not be posting on this account very much, but I encourage you to go to my other two blogs and subscribe to them. In order to subscribe find the box on each page that says "Follow By Email" enter your email, hit submit, and then look for a confirmation email sent to your email address. MAKE SURE YOU OPEN IT AND CLICK THE LINK!! I really stress that because sometimes the email pops up in your junk or it pops up and people delete it. But you HAVE to click the link in the email in order to make sure it's activated! Thank you everyone for your constant support and I look forward to writing to you on my other blogs!

www.wilsonsonthewater.blogspot.com   The blog for my family's 10 month boat trip
www.asmackeraloflife.blogspot.com      My own personal blog

After The Storm

These past couple of months I’ve been stuck on a theme. From my last two blogs you will see it begin to form. Both of them had to do with storms in our lives. The first of the two talked about what I did before my “storm,” ways I tried to avoid it, cover it up…etc. The second was what I did throughout the “storm,” suffered, worshiped, watched butterflies….etc. So now I have decided it is only fair to finish this series with a blog about what I’ve been doing after the “storm.”

If you have been following along on my blog for quite some time you’ll have noticed that recently I’ve been struggling a little bit with this thing called life. I wrote about the bump in the road I had created. How it not only affected me and God, but also three of the most important people in my life. I expressed how deep the Father’s love was for me, despite my bump. The next blog was written in the midst of my storm. I was suffering, emotionally and in all honesty, I was suffering physically as well. Eating was hard and emotions were high. I wrote out a prayer for those who were suffering, one which I whispered through tears as I typed it out. 

God has been gracious and faithful and forgiving. He has restored my joy, my love for life and my appetite! So now that I’ve gone through this rough patch what am I doing about it? Have I shrugged it off as if it didn’t happen or have I learned from it? Have I used it to witness to others in their own storms or have I kept it hidden? Here’s the answer to all of those questions that may be going through your head. 

I have seen struggle,pain, lessons learned, people hurting from my decisions, abundant tears and sleepless nights. But above everything else I have seen God’s grace, joy, guidance, forgiveness, love and His hands wrapped around me. Through it all my eyes have been opened and on Him and through it all I’ve learned so much! So have I kept this all hidden? OF COURSE NOT! Although sometimes it’s hard to share what I went through I believe God gave me my storm in order for me to witness His greatness to other people around me. I’m currently home now and will not be returning to Children’s Lifeline. It has not been easy leaving the place I love but since I have been home God has spoken to me in many different ways and has truly shown me why He guided me back home. 

So yes, I had a “storm” in my life. We all go through the phases. But the most important part is if we run from them or learn from them. I’d like to think my “storm” has made me stronger as well as strengthened my relationship with certain people in my life as well. So next time you’re going through a storm just stop and listen to Him, He is the true rainbow at the end and just as He promised He will hold you and guide you the entire time. 

Music and Butterflies

((Warning! Please excuse my spelling and grammatical errors. I did not have time to go over this!)) 

The past 2 weeks haven't been the greatest. Stress, fatigue and tears have been constant company. Besides God, some amazing friends, my boyfriend and my mom, there are two things that have gotten me through these weeks…..music and butterflies.

“Through it all, though it all my eyes are on you. And through it all, through it all it is well…..So let go my soul and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know His name.”

This song has been on repeat in my head and on my phone. It is my song of complete and pure surrender. From smiling and singing at the top of my lungs with my coworkers, to on my knees with hands held high whispering it through the tears. This song has been a comfort and constant reminder that God must have His way and I must trust Him and say, “Lord, no matter what, it is well with my soul.” It hasn't been easy but God never promised it would be, He just promised He would take care of us and never leave. 

        Butterflies. I rarely ever see them here. If I do it’s by a flower or on a tree. I love butterflies, they're reserved and quiet yet their wings call out in beautiful colors as to say, “Look at the magnificence God has blessed me with!” They are silently radiant. Now that I’ve explained that I do not see them much, I have seen 6 in the past 4 days! Not by flowers, or on trees, but right by me! I’ve gotten one huge thing out of these sightings. Hope.

I recently wrote something to someone about finding beauty in the storm. I will be the first one to tell you that right now I’m in a storm in my life. So seeing the beauty during the storm is amazing and butterflies are full of it. Did you know that butterflies symbolize transformation? Probably. It’s pretty easy to see why it would stand for that….but did you also know that butterflies represent souls?  It is depicted as such in some ancient Christian tombs and many Christian artists have used this symbolism in pictures of Jesus holding a butterfly. So lets tie those two things together using one word shall we? FAITH. A butterfly goes through a huge transformation yet the whole time trusts its cocoon. Our soul goes through huge transformations repetitively and just like the butterfly we must trust God as our cocoon. To hold us and guide us and mold us into the creation He wants us to be. To help us to eat up as much of His word as possible before the transformation so we are equipped during it and to help us spread our wings and fly after the transformation. So next time you see a butterfly let it give you this hope. That it is possible for you to hang on during the storm and in the end you will fly higher than you ever could.

These two things have really spoken to me the past two weeks and I hope if someone else is out there struggling as well that they find comfort in these words. If you’re interested the song I quoted is called “It Is Well” by Bethel Music & Kristene DiMarco. If you’re suffering hear this prayer….

Dear God, I know I am not alone in this storm. I know you are there to comfort me and to help guide me. Let the lightning flash waves of your beauty into my soul and the thunder be filled with your voice commanding me to do your will. Help me to trust your every move and to let you mold me into the creation you want me to be. Help me to say that through it all it is well with my soul. Amen.

"How Deep The Father's Love For Us"

Have you ever hit a bump in the road? Not just a small little rock, or a slight dip, but a HUGE bump? One that was so big you had to slow down to almost a complete stop in order to get over it? Let me ask you this…. have you ever hit a bump on your spiritual road to Christ? I hit one recently, I wasn’t ready for how big it would be. In fact, I saw it coming but I tried to avoid it by taking detours. In doing so I only made the bump bigger. Bumps are scary, they literally rock your world and most of the time are bigger than they seem. Sometimes you see them coming and other times you don’t. We all have bumps in our road but God has something even better. Love.

“How deep the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure. That He should give His only son, to make a wretch His treasure.” 

I’m going to let you in on a little secret….you can’t tell anyone okay? Move a little closer, make sure no one is reading over your shoulder. Are you ready? …….most bumps in the road are created by…….YOU! Shocking right? I know I was surprised when this truth slammed me in the face. Now, before I get the attention of you analytical people who will say “Actually they are created by sin, meaning they’re from Satan himself.” This is correct, but did you know that God granted you choice? God does not force anyone to follow Him, it is a choice you must make in your heart and in turn proclaim publicly. So, without being too technical lets continue our chat. In order to explain this with depth I’m going to tell a little bit about my bump, without disclosing what exactly it was.

My bump was self created. Something I chose to do. Something my sinful self wanted to do. I created this bump after looking at Satan’s temptation for me and failing to say no. That was step one in the making of my bump in the road. The second step was trying to cover it up. I didn’t want to see the bump I created, and I definitely didn’t want anyone else to see it either. Little did I know, until after the fact, that I wasn’t actually covering my bump. I was making it bigger. The third step were the detours I took. I was ready to avoid my bump at all costs. I didn’t want anyone to notice it and tell me, so I swerved left and right. I took back ways and front ways and side ways….you get the point. In all honesty it took me farther away from the bump. I didn't hit it as soon, but as I was cruising along my side roads other things crossed its path and made it even bigger. 

By the time I came face to face with my bump it was HUGE. I knew it wouldn’t just effect me, it was now going to effect some of the people I care for most in this world. But, I couldn’t turn back. So I stopped. I literally pulled over and began to speak with God. I pleaded and begged for Him to remove the bump, to forgive me for the wickedness I had created in my life and others. And amidst the sobs I heard Him whisper this sweet melody….. 

“It was my sin that held Him there, until it was accomplished. His dying breathe has brought me life, I know that it is finished.”

HIS DYING BREATHE HAS BROUGHT ME LIFE……. Take in the depth of those words! How deep His love is for us! Even as we continue to create our bumps, try to avoid them and make them bigger. The end of my bump story goes like this….. 

There I was, stopped on the road, facing my bump an dreading how deep it was going to be. But, I had something else to do. I had to confess to others about my bump. And so, I did. I talked to the three most important people in my life and told them about the bump in the road that I had caused. They prayed for me, they looked into their own feelings, they read the Bible and then they all pulled up beside me on the road. So at this point it was me, God and three others. We all got ready to go and stepped towards the bump. But, you know what happened? I’m not going to tell you…..HA! Sorry! Okay, I'm kidding I will finish it for the sake of your sanity. I got over my bump...but not alone. I made it with God carrying me and those three people holding my hand. It is possible, especially when you have an amazing, merciful, graceful God on your side! So yes, I sin, I fail, I’m not perfect, I fall short, I create bumps….HUGE bumps, but……

“How deep the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure. That He should give His only son, to make a wretch His treasure…………It was my sin that held Him there, until it was accomplished. His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished.”

AMEN!!!!

When You Cower You Fall

"It was a hot day in Haiti. Now you’re probably thinking, “Well duh! It’s Haiti!” But what you fail to remember is that I have now been here for three months and my body has adjusted to the temperature so when I say it was hot, believe me that it was hot! There were eight of us traveling to Archaie hospital. Chelsea and I (2 Americans) our translator, the man with the infected hand and that man’s daughter (3 Haitians) and the doctors (3 Germans.) As we entered the hospital, we were met by the Haitian director of the hospital and after much discussion were given a room for the surgery. Before going to the room we were introduced to a Cuban doctor and his assistant. So now our number was bumped up to 10, 2 Americans, 3 Haitians, 2 Cubans and 3 Germans. All of these different cultures and different languages going on in the same room was quite an experience! While they prepared the room Chelsea, myself and the translator  went out on the street to get some lunch. We walked down the street until we found a little “shack” where we got rice and beans with sauce, chicken and plantains. We were ushered into a very small room with a table and a sketchy looking dog. The food was amazing, but the heat was killer and we all exited dripping in sweat. Upon our arrival back at the hospital, they had the man laying out on a table and were preparing him for surgery. Now, as you can imagine, things are very different in Haiti when it comes to medical situations and because we were American and knew the man having surgery, we were allowed to walk in and watch. We entered the room and because I was sick, I put a mask on. They started the surgery and I took a few photos for one of the doctors and then leaned up against the wall and observed. Some would say it was the sight of the blood, others would say it was the heat and dehydration and some would even say it was my sickness, but I went from leaning up against a wall, watching, to lying on the floor right under Chelsea with our translator holding my feet up. Yes, I passed out. I’m fine and did not get any injuries, except to my pride of course. I was told to sit on the floor for the rest of the surgery and I did as I was told. They got all the infection out of the mans hand and we left. On our way out the Cuban doctor looked at me and said “when you cower you fall!”"

    Since that experience I have sat and thought about what that doctor said to me many times. Although it was very much a joke and I still get made fun of for it around the mission, I can’t help but add some seriousness to it. Ask yourself this question, “When I am afraid or upset what is the first thing I want to do?” Now for me the answer is one of two things, I either want to run and hide or run to someone I know who will make me feel safe. Isn’t that what most of us would do? Find safety in a thing or a person? When you cower you fall……why do you fall? Why does your heart drop? Why does your pride sink down? Why do you want to slick back into something other than yourself and make yourself unseen? Well, let’s look at some situations of fear or cowering in the Bible shall we?  

     A few examples we find in the Bible are found in John 6:19-20 where the disciples experience fear as Jesus is walking out on the water towards their boat, Matthew 28:4-6 when both Mary’s encounter an angel at Jesus’ grave proclaiming He had risen and Acts 18:9-10  where Paul is discouraged and wants to run to the Gentiles to preach the good news. In each:9-10 of these examples, and many more in the Bible, there is one phrase in common. “Do not be afraid!”  

So yes, when we cower, when we are weak, when we are afraid beyond measure we fall. But, there is always that voice saying “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 

      

     So the next time you’re in an operating room and pass out, or the dark is scary, or you are unsure of the future and what lies ahead, remember that God is with you. You cannot hide from Him only in Him. He is your shelter and protection from the evil one and although what that Cuban doctor said in his broken English was true, I know who holds my fear and who can make it disappear. Funny how things can give you such a broader look on certain aspects of faith. Had I not passed out that day at the hospital an had that doctor not said anything to me as a joke I would have never sat and thought about what we can learn from fear and our reaction to it. I hope you’ve learned from my personal observations! God Bless!

The Power Of Prayer

         Today I ventured to Real Hope For Haiti with a team of doctors that we have staying at Lifeline. I sat in the front seat as we ventured up the rocky twisting roads that I’ve become accustomed to. Upon our arrival we went in the same gate, said hi to the same workers and once again asked for Jody. We then proceeded to go on the same tour that I have been on every time for almost 4 months. We saw the same rooms, the same doctors, the same nurses and even some of the same kids. Now at this point you’re probably thinking “wow, she sounds bored with seeing the same things over and over again.” To answer your question, no I am not. I absolutely love going to Real Hope, I love all of the people there and if it weren’t so far I would probably visit there more often than I actually do. The reason I emphasized so much that I have seen the same things is to point out this one difference in my visit today. As part of the tour we always stop in their ICU and spend time with the kids there. We hold them and play with them and talk with them. This is my favorite part of the whole tour and I adore being able to go love on those kids! Unfortunately, you see some of the same kids every time you go because their conditions are so bad, but in a way it’s also nice to visit them and watch them as they make progress. As you can probably already begin to imagine, because of knowledge and because of what I have described above, ICU’s here are run much differently than the one’s in the U.S. If a child were in the ICU at one of your hospitals we would not be touching them as much, they would be hooked up to a dozen machines and confined to a hospital bed. This is for the sickest of the sick and there are a lot of restrictions in that area. In Haiti there is one small section for the kids who may not be touched but the rest of the ICU is free range. The kids can get up and play outside, they can be held and many of them are not hooked up to any machines. This really helps build relationships with the kids there and allows you to show them more love! I usually spend my time there running from inside to outside and interacting with a bunch of different kids. I hold many of them, play ball with them, talk with them and just watch them interact with one another. Today was different though. Today, I was prayed over. Not by a group of people, not by any of the Americans at Real Hope, not by any of the Haitian workers at Real Hope, and not by the team I was with. I was prayed over by a little boy who was admitted there. He looked to be about 6 or 7. He called Grace and I over and prayed over Grace first and then me. We were NOT expecting it! He simply walked up and said “I’m praying for you.” We just smiled and said thank you and he said “No, come here.” So Grace walked over first and he grabbed her hand, placed his hand on her head and said a short prayer. Then, he called me over. His prayer was soft and sweet and I’m not really sure what he said, but it was so soft that it sounded like a song. I was almost in tears as he finished and looked up at me and said “God bless you.” This little boy, one whom I should be praying over because of his sickness instead wanted nothing more than to come up and pray for me. He didn’t know me, didn’t know my name, had never seen me before and yet he sang a sweet prayer to our heavenly Father. We can all learn a lesson from this sweet boy. From the mouths of babes! I’m still astounded by what happened today and I’m so thankful that Grace caught this precious moment on camera. Please pray for this boy as he is at Real Hope, that he may be healed quickly so he can continue to go out and pray for others. I will end this blog with the same sweet words that little boy whispered to me after his prayer “May God bless you.” 

Blog Booklets (Part 1)

I’ve sat down multiple times trying to think of something to blog about. Another story where one goes from rags to riches? Or maybe something I’ve learned? There are so many things to write about! You would not even imagine the amount of events that go on throughout just one day here. So….that being said, I have decided to combine this blog into a jumble of stories and lessons learned. Without further ado, I give you a little collection of stories I have affectionately decided to call “blog booklets!” Enjoy! 

We Wish You A Haitian Christmas! 

         It was hot, as usual. There was no sight of any rain or even clouds for that matter. It was not windy, just very dusty. The sun beat down on everyone in their lovely clothes. The American girls all dressed up nicely in cute tops and skirts. The workers of lifeline hard at work. Some people look at this and wonder what day I’m speaking of because when they see a description like this the last thing they think of is Christmas. Yes, Christmas. It was hotter than blazes, we were all dressed up and our workers were working. This was not our decision, the Haitians seem to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve. Some of them give gifts, but many of them do not do much to celebrate. We respectfully asked that no one bother us on Christmas. As you can imagine it was not an easy day for us, so we all clung to each other and to God that day. We all had gifts for each other that we opened with joy, but it was still very different for us and we all missed our families. But, amidst the difficulties, we all had each other. We spent time laughing and cooking and at the end of the day we all gathered around the table to a nice meal of chicken, mashed potatoes, cucumber tomato salad, stuffing and some other random things. So in the end, we still were able to celebrate the birth of our Savior together. Even if it was in a way we were unfamiliar with, and I can’t help but wonder if celebrating differently helped us truly realize the reason for the season. 

The Gift Of Love 

         It started out as a casual thing, a walk through the village. I liked going out in the village and visiting with people and each time I went out there was one little boy who always wanted my attention. One of my first times going out at night for food this boy ran up and wrapped his arms around me and just held me until I left. Every walk in the village I could always count on him to pop up and hold my hand while I was walking. He went to the river with us and stopped with me just to help me get a thorn out of my shoe. He has “protected” me from his little friends who try to pinch me and ask me for things. He has always been sweet and loving to me and over time I’ve formed a place in my heart that is the shape of his name. Aluxon. I’m honestly not even sure if I’ve spelled it right, but either way it’s engraved into my heart. He is about 8 years old and can be very sassy (not that I mind much since I’m just as sassy as he is!) And just like every relationship we slowly started off getting to know each other until we were comfortable talking and hanging out. I’ve grown so fond of him and here is why. This little boy does not have much, just like many other children in the village he is dirty most of the time, has ripped clothing and probably doesn't eat much. One day while walking he took something from his pocket and while holding my hand slipped it into my hand and said he had a gift for me. When I opened my hand I saw a pretty little marble. Marbles are used here as toys for the kids. To see that this little boy had nothing yet gave me something beautiful astounded me. The next time I saw him he wore a rubber band on his wrist as a bracelet. After I swam at the dam with him one afternoon he silently grabbed my wrist and placed the rubber band on it saying that it was now mine and no longer his. My new bracelet was worn and dirty and too tight, but I kept it on for the rest of the day. A few days later while in the back area of the village he was walking beside me holding my hand as usual and out of no where proclaimed that I was his mom and he was “petit mwen” (my child.) I laughed but after seeing his face I realized he wasn't joking. I explained to him that he could call me mama if he wanted but that did not mean he could come live with me. He quickly agreed and has since then claimed me as his own! And that, my friends, is how I gained a child in the village. 

All Of Me 

      Sometimes things happen that we don’t always understand. I feel like people say that frequently to you throughout life. Well, let me be the first to say that the phrase above is used even more here. A lot of what we see every day makes no sense to us. We just trust God and let things happen as they are, no matter how hard it may be for us to witness. One of these cases was very heart wrenching for me and I want to share it with you. His name is Ericson. I was not here whenever he was originally brought to us, but from what I have heard his mother had the grandma take care of him and she let him starve. He was quickly taken to Real Hope For Haiti when brought to Lifeline and had been in their program for 4 months. Since my arrival here I have been to Real Hope several times with teams and each time have watched as Ericson’s mom climbed into our truck so she could go with us to see him. I have also watched as she has come to us asking when he will be well enough to come home and tell us that she misses him. A few weeks ago we took another visit to Real Hope. After a crazy morning we had forgotten to call his mother to tell her that we were going and so she was unable to tag along. When we arrived we were told that if he was well taken care of Ericson was now free to be released. Normally they do not release a child without talking to his/her mother first, but because we are good friends with this mission and we share mutual love and respect for one another they decided it would be okay if we brought Ericson back with us. You can only imagine our excitement and we could not wait to surprise his mother! He started off in the front seat sitting on Dave’s lap, but after about 10 minutes I took him in the back with me. He slept on my chest, clinging to my shirt with his head directly over my heart which seemed to whisper “I love you” with every beat. I held him for about 2 hours straight until he woke up. After he had awoken it was my job to watch him while the Links had a meeting with our Haitian director (they wanted to go over a few things before calling the mom.) Now, as you can imagine, Ericson was not very emotional and had no facial expressions. He had been in a hospital recovering from malnutrition for 4 months and had probably not had as much social interaction as needed. He was very weak, very fragile and very sad. But, I saw past all that and really showed him the love he deserved. I showered him in kisses, I encouraged him to stand while holding my hands and I cuddled him close. After about 30 minutes I was able to make him smile and he slowly leaned up and gave me a kiss. That’s when I knew I was in trouble. That one little smile and that sweet kiss that no one else had managed to get said more words than anything I had ever heard before. He clung to me some more and then Elizabeth took him so we could surprise his mother. We took the trek down to the gate and happily waited for the arrival of his mother. As soon as she stepped in the gate she had a huge smile on her face, we soon realized it was because of Elizabeth in me, for when she saw Ericson her face slowly changed from happy to panicked. Without going into detail we took her to our Haitian director and had another meeting on what could be done. Ericson’s mother agreed that with help from us she would take care of him but wanted us to keep him for a few days so she could get her house ready. We agreed to keep him for a few days and train her on when and how to give him his medicine. That night we had Ericson duty…..which sound turned into Ericson dooty. He got sick again. He had a constant fever, and let’s just say that one of my shirts is stained from explosive diarrhea. I spent the rest of the night changing my shirt, diapers, bathing him and cuddling with him as he was wrapped in a towel. Thankfully, Elizabeth took the overnight shift but both of us were up bright and early the next morning in order to take him back to Real Hope. I haven’t seen him or heard how he is doing yet, but for those of you who are interested I will have an update on my FaceBook page as soon as I get one! I can't help but think of the song "All Of Me" by Matt Hammit and I encourage you now to go and listen to it. Close your eyes and picture this sweet boy from my perspective and pray that if you have a similar situation in your life that you too can give that person all of you, no matter what. These three stories are just a few of the many life changing things going on during my journey. There are many other children, many other experiences and many other families in need of prayer. Thank you all once again for your support and your prayers, they are much needed! God has been doing a lot of changing in me and I can only hope that I continue each day to listen and draw closer to Him as well as minster to others so that they may do the same.

      

        

     

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.....But The Greatest Of These Is Love

1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love,”

Love. What a powerful word. Did you know that in the NIV of the Bible the word “love” is mentioned 551 times? You think maybe God is trying to make a point? 

Since moving to Haiti God has really been giving me a lesson on love. The love He has for me and others, the love I need to have for other people, the love they need to have for me and the love that other people should have for other people. So I’m going to break down each of these and share some lessons I’ve learned for these topics of love. So first…..

1) The love God has for me.

As you can imagine, leaving behind everything and everyone you know to move to a poverty stricken country isn’t the easiest. But, through it all God has provided a lot of things that I’ve needed in order to fight my demons. He has provided me with two amazing housemates, Aggie and Chelsea who have really involved me in their friendship and have reached out to me when I needed it most. They are both so selfless, caring, passionate, loving and I couldn’t have been more blessed to move in with anyone else! So if you’re both reading this, I love you so much and thank you for following God’s calling for you, because without doing that we would have never met! God has also provided me with some new friends and some new kids to love on. He shows me everyday in little or big ways that He loves me and is guiding my steps. Even though I sin daily and am very stubborn sometimes! I just have to follow His guidance. 

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

2) The love I need to have for other people.

I can honestly say that this is something I’ve never really struggled with until recently. I’ve always been one to love and love hard. To give someone my all even if sometimes they weren’t deserving of it. I looked past the sin, and went straight to loving the sinner. This isn't a quality that I have lost, per-say. It is one that I’ve unfortunately become more guarded with. In ways that  I dont like. Some things in my life recently have forced me to be more careful and put my guard up, but I think I pushed myself to far back in this subject. After talking with my mom about how it was bad that I was loving a child who would never be mine she was quick to remind me that God calls us to love ALL. No restrictions or fears. No matter what happens, we are called to love all people. After this conversation I decided to let down my guarded walls and continue to love as I once had. And let me tell you, I have never felt so free! God definitely used my mother to remind me that I need to love NO MATTER WHAT! Just as God does for each and every one of us! So mom (I know you're reading this,) thank you so much for reminding me to give all I have whether the person is mine to keep or not!

Hebrews 13:1 “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.”

3) The love others need to have for me.

Without sharing any details I will simply say that recently I was in a situation that was full of a toxic kind of love. After stepping away from it God really showed me how others should love me. In 1 Corinthians chapter 13 He gives a straightforward view of what love should be. The kind of love that we should have and should be given. He has taught me so much about how I, as a fragile human being, should be loved by others. It’s also important to remember that others are also fragile human beings that are just as flawed as you are. We can’t expect the love we are given to be perfect, but we should expect it to be a lot of the things mentioned in the verse below. Sometimes the devil takes love and twists it, he uses it to play with our minds and our hearts. He manipulates us into believing that love is not what the Bible says it is. So friends, beware because the devil is cunning and will make toxic love look just as enticing and as Biblical love. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails…..”

4) The love other people should have for other people.

This kind of ties into all of the other three lessons I have learned. Love is such a strong emotion, it can get into your head and mess with your thoughts, it can mess with your heart and it can do a lot of good or a lot of damage. Many people use that reasoning in order to withhold their love for others. But, something I’ve learned here is that when you freely give your love to everyone around you and truly care for one another and watch out for each other everyone around you is so much happier. Unfortunately, this is something that’s very rare around the world. Maybe it’s something we can all work on?

John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. BY THIS EVERYONE WILL KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY DISCIPLES, IF YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER.”

So here have been some lessons I’ve recently had on love. Hopefully this post spoke to you as well, so go out this week and show the world your love. And don’t hold back, because God can do amazing things for you and others when you love just as He does! Amen!

The Starbucks Cup (Red)

    After having a break from my phone this weekend I was quite shocked to come back to a news feed full of arguments over a red Starbucks cup. After seeing post after post about this little thing I thought I would put into perspective what a missionary thinks when seeing these things. 

      If you follow my Facebook page then you have seen some of this story already. But, in order to put into perspective as to why I see silliness in this red cup phenomenon I will give you a little insight on some of the things I encounter while here. Below is the picture of a little boy named Samuel. Samuel is 6 days old and has been in our care since the day he was born. He was a twin, but both the twin and the mother died in childbirth. Afraid for the life of Samuel, his uncle  got on a moto and traveled about 5 hours down from the mountain. He was very tiny, very fragile, very hungry and had some funny breathing patterns. We took him in and fed him, cleaned him off and gave him some warm clothes. Yes, he was cold! To give a little background, his family situation with his father was very unhealthy. The rest of his family either had a busy job, or children of their own and had no time or money to take care of him. This is but only one case we've had where a child has been given to us as a result from it's mothers death.

             When you see the color red what do you think of? Many right now would say that they think of Christmas, the Starbucks cup, maybe even Target. Want to know what I see when I hear of the color red? These precious little ones. The ones that surround me daily and call out my name, asking how I am doing and genuinely caring. The ones who have so little but smile so big. Red, to me, shows the love pouring out from both my heart and theirs. To live a life full of views of people suffering daily, even hourly. To live in a world that is thankful for a cup no matter what shape or color it is. While the world quarrels over the difference between a cup that is red and a cup that says merry Christmas, missionaries all over the world sit and quarrel with the Devil over a soul of someone lost that is right outside their door.  So the next couple of months, when you drive up to that Starbucks window and they smile and give you your nice red cup, remember what missionaries think of when they see your quarreling and be thankful. Be thankful for that one cup full of coffee that so many Americans rely on. Be thankful that you are surrounded by family, that you have a nice car to drive you places, that you have the money to just so easily go spend on a treat. Remember missionaries all over the world who are spending their Christmas in foreign countries all over the world and using the color red as a symbol of love. Pray for them and their work. I hope this opens your eyes to what we see when we log into our social media time after time and view the things that others share. We pray not only for the people we are ministering too but also for our home and the people around it, that their eyes may be opened and they may truly be thankful for what they have. May God bless you and your family this upcoming winter and please, go have a peppermint hot chocolate at Starbucks just for me! ;) 

A Change of Heart

    I’m sorry that I haven't blogged regularly but as you can imagine I am still trying to get comfortable with my new life. Now that I’m here I’m really starting to realize that Haiti has no structure, my mom would have a fit! (Love you mom!) Work day hours vary constantly, you can start work pretty much at 7:30AM and then declare at 3PM that you are going home. With my line of work we are constantly depending on the wifi, which as you can imagine is not the greatest in a third world country, but we manage to get as much done as we can. I can honestly say that every day is different, there is never really a schedule or a plan as to how one should go about doing things. You simply just do them. Transition from the U.S. has not been the easiest on me but it’s still amazing to see how God can work through the little things in such BIG ways! Here’s a story about a boy who really taught me what it is to whole-heartedly follow Christ.

   A boy from our village has decided to follow Christ and in doing so will be baptized in the next upcoming week or so. Before doing this he realized that he had some unsolved conflict between some friends of his. He came to Elizabeth and asked that him and his friends be allowed to come sit in our living room and talk about what had happened between them. Fortunately, I was present during this meeting! Unfortunately, most of it was in Creole so I only got bits and pieces, but what I did get taught me a very valuable lesson. He came and sat down across from three friends in our living room and started out by telling them a few things from his point of view. After that he apologized for everything that he had done and asked if they could forget about the past and move on in their friendships. Everyone was forgiving and well in agreement with the change that was going to be happening.

   I later found out that the reason he had decided to make amends with these people was not only because he cared for them and wanted the friendships back, but also because he wanted to be baptized with a pure heart. Wow! What a great way to step into your new faith! Can you imagine how much more loving people in the U.S. would be if we simply sat down with the people we loved, the ones we cared for, and asked for forgiveness for the wrong that we may have committed against them. What a HUGE act of love and humility! I was completely amazed by this demonstration of full fledge passion to follow Christ with a clean heart! How amazing that boy will feel after his baptism when God has fully cleaned him! Thank you Jesus for the things in life that teach us all a valuable lesson! I can only hope that my heart has the same good intentions while I am here, to serve Him whole-heartedly and to do it in a pure way! Amen!

On a side note there was a HUGE cockroach in our bathroom today, and even after spraying it with poison it managed to make its way into Grace’s bedroom!! EW! Well, guess I better get used to seeing big bugs now! Welcome to Haiti ;) 

Hope In The Healing

Today was hard. Plain and simple. It was a toss and turn of emotions. Like the mountain we traveled on, I went up then back down again. 

     We traveled to Real Hope For Haiti today. This is a hospital for extremely sick kids. People travel from below the mountain and from the mountain itself just to make it to this place because they know their kid will get the best possible treatment. They see about 100-250 people PER DAY! The people literally line up the night before to make sure they’re first in line for the next day. So as you can imagine this hospital holds the sickest of the sick. It’s hard to travel here at times because of some of the conditions you see. The last time I went there was a little girl with a condition that Mia also has (CP- Cerebral Palsy)  and it was something that really effected me. This time I went I was faced with another trial, but was very aware of the hope found within it. 

      There was a little girl there whose name I won’t even try to type out. I’m not sure how long she had been there but I hadn’t seen her when I was there in January. She was paper thin, and that isn’t an expression. Her skin was so thin that on her chest it didn't even feel like she had any. It felt like bones and that was it. The skin on her arms and legs was so tight against her bones and felt of leather. She had a feeding tube in her nose and an IV inserted somewhere as well. Her teeth were all rotted and she looked miserable. Yet amidst all of this she still tried to smile at one of our team members. Did you catch that? She tried to smile! This precious little 5 year old girl, practically on her death bed from dehydration and lack of care, tried to smile for us! That is such a powerful image of self sacrifice. Who knows how much just moving her mouth hurt her or how much discomfort she was feeling. She still smiled! 

     I learned a lot from this girl today. No matter the pain, the trial, the struggle, there is always a reason to smile! So no matter what kind of day you’ve had today, remember to be thankful anyways and to smile. God has you here for a reason dear one and He will use you for great things!

Flashback Of Feelings

Remember when you were little and just starting to make “best friends?” You would spend your time passing notes in class, hanging out on the swings at the playground, telling each other pointless secrets about how Billy stole Suzy’s pencil….etc. This was a wonderful age, where making friends was easy! Now that I’ve got your memory sparked, can you remember the first time you had a sleepover at your friends house? Remember the fear of the unknown? Of not knowing what their house would look like, if their moms mac-n-cheese really was as good as your friend said, how comfortable the bed would be, if it would be dark? So many things. Now remember how much fun you ended up having!! You ran around the house causing chaos everywhere you stepped, laughing uncontrollably and getting told to “quiet down!”  But do you remember bedtime? It was the time everyone dreaded. It meant the end of the fun and the beginning of the panic process. Where we didn’t want to leave because we were having so much fun but didn’t want to stay because we wanted our bed, parents, siblings, comfort…..I am at this stage. I’m on my plane to Haiti and I’m excited, yet wanting to go back home. The fear of the unknown awaits. I’ve been here before, I know what is waiting for me in Haiti. Yet there is that ache to go home. To cuddle with my siblings, laugh with my parents, hang out with my friends and just be surrounded by people who love me. This past month has honestly been horrible for me. The stress has been constantly on my mind, the anxiousness never ceases, my stomach is constantly in a knot and I must force myself to eat, the tears have been shed so much that I have none left to cry. But I know who holds my future, I know God is watching over me and has great plans for me. So just as I did when I was a little girl, I will wait through the night and wake again in the morning to enjoy another playdate with God on this mission field! Thank you all for the love and support! Please keep me in your prayers since this has been a very exciting yet difficult step to take. God Bless!

The Raw Truth

Everyone that I run into has asked how I feel about leaving, well here is the answer. The raw truth of what’s going on inside of me. Many people who have asked me have gotten the answer “I’m excited but also nervous.” That answer just scratches the surface of what I’m truly feeling. This blog is something very emotional for me to write, so please try to hang with me because some of what I say may be a tad scattered. Those of you who are sensitive may possibly need tissues (shoutout to grandma!) So here we go, take a deep breath and keep reading.

I’m struggling. So hard that it hurts. I can’t even explain half of the feelings that are twisting and turning inside of my heart right now. If you know me, you know that my emotions are all on overload. Everything I feel, I feel strongly. It’s the kind of heart God blessed me with and though sometimes it can be hard, it’s amazing. I feel everything with passion, the good and the bad. It’s times like now that I struggle. I don’t even know how to explain this dreadful emotion. I guess it’s not really just one emotion, it’s several mixed together. It crept up on me a few weeks ago, it started out as a little thing. Nothing but nervousness, so tiny that it wasn't even noticeable. Little did I know that it would grow into what it is today, as I sit pouring my heart out through my fingers touching the keys. I’m scared, terrified actually. I’m afraid to be alone, and I know God is with me and always will be! I never doubt that. But, I’m moving away from everything and everyone that I know. There are people here that have my heart that will be so hard to be away from. No one will be just a phone call or text away anymore. I’m so afraid to feel the loneliness that I’ll go through during certain times in my journey. Maybe that’s selfish. No, it is selfish. But I can’t help but feel it, the next few weeks will be so hard for me as I begin to say goodbye to all of the people that I love so dearly. 

My feelings have kind of begun to drown me in a way. Sometimes the water is dark and the waves begin to drag me down. Other times the water is refreshing and lets me back up for a breath of air. That sounds gruesome, but it is the only way I can describe it. These past few weeks have really opened my eyes as to how hard this move will be for me. I’ve been majorly stressed, to the point that my stomach has been nothing but a mess. Eating has been a real struggle and I’ve lost some weight. I’ve had a few breakdowns. I’ve cried so many tears that sometimes I’ve even run out of them. I’ve fought with God. Not just internally, but at 1:30AM in a sanctuary speaking to Him. I’ve been so moody lately. My mind and my heart are constantly contradicting one another. My mind says to keep to myself, but my heart knows that these are the days I should be spending the most time with everyone. Little things set me off, you could ask what my favorite food is and in my mind, I would wrap it around until it turns into the thought of “well it doesn't matter because I won’t be eating it in Haiti.” My heart has been filled with so much negativity and I’ve tried with every ounce of myself to try and ignore the pain. The devil has really been working a number on me recently and I’ve not been myself. 

But amidst the trials, there is still sunshine. Even though my mood has been off, my eating habits have died away, my eyes have been puffy a lot and I’ve been kind of down,  I’ve become stronger. I’ve learned more about myself in the last two weeks than I could have in a normal month for me. Though I have fought with Him, I have felt God’s arms around me and heard Him whisper reassuring words into my life. I have been shown how truly blessed I am with the people I have surrounding me. My family, my friends, and I’ve even learned that strangers can also be a blessing! My mom has been such a comfort to me lately and everything I’ve been going through has actually strengthened my bond with her (which I didn't know was possible!) My sisters have given me hugs and cuddles when they knew I was down. My dad has taken me out to lunch. All of my wonderful friends have been there to listen to me no matter what mood I’ve been in. To help me up when I’ve fallen. And to walk beside me when I’ve stood tall. God has blessed me so much with this new adventure in my life! Through the struggle God has been there, God is there and He always will be! I’m not second-guessing anything, I know this is what I want to do and where God is calling me to be. Yes, I’ve been struggling and I ask for prayers these next couple of days as things will probably only get harder. But, I’ve also been able to rejoice in ways I never knew imaginable. Thanks for hanging with me through this emotional post. Your support, prayers and love mean the world to me. May God bless you today and every day!